


No—Not The Fuzzy Handcuffs!

by calliopes_pen



Category: Doctor Who
Genre: Drabble, Fluff and Humor, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2009-09-17
Updated: 2009-09-17
Packaged: 2018-12-04 06:31:24
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 505
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11549463
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/calliopes_pen/pseuds/calliopes_pen
Summary: The Doctor thinks Jack is corrupting his TARDIS, and should face the consequences.





	No—Not The Fuzzy Handcuffs!

**Author's Note:**

> This was written for Yamx, as a drabble incentive for the Support Stacie Auction. The prompt was this: "Jack annoys Nine and has to face the consequences. *g* (Can be Jack/Nine or Jack, Nine or include Rose or be undetermined, I'm not fussy. *g*)" I do believe this is the closest I can get to smut. It was supposed to be an innocent conversation about how the TARDIS shouldn’t be corrupted by Jack, and it just went off somewhere else.

“I will _not_ have my TARDIS turned into a den of ill repute, _Captain._ ”

The Doctor’s eyes practically sparked as he surveyed the room in a mixture of annoyance and disgust, while waiting for Jack to get himself out of the strange position he had achieved. He was impressed that the man didn’t need medical intervention. The Time Lord had told Jack to make himself at home--he _hadn’t_ told him to transform a bedroom into a bordello. The mirror on the ceiling above the bed, and the trapeze in the corner told the whole sordid story, in one Time Lord’s opinion.

And what _was_ that in the corner? Two-headed bear rugs from a bazaar, next to a whip and accompanying riding crop? Intriguing.

“A guy’s gotta keep in shape for company, right? The TARDIS knows what I like, don’t you, sweetheart?” Jack casually stroked one wall, quickly stopping (but not before he threw in what seemed to be a tickle) as the Doctor’s glare intensified. And…was that a _giggle_ coming from his ship, or was Rose’s water heater acting up again? “I do believe you have corrupted my ship, Captain. Give me one good reason why you shouldn’t be tossed out the door, and straight into the vortex?”

Before Jack could answer, he pointed firmly, adding, “ _Don’t_ say you’re too handsome to die.”

Jack feigned an innocent expression, saying in the most hopeful tone he could muster, "Rose would be mad?"

The Doctor closed his eyes in amused exasperation, nodding once before pulling one last item from his pocket. “And I believe you left these in my room, Captain.” He casually twirled the pair of pink, fluffy handcuffs around one finger before throwing them to Jack.

Before turning to go, he threw one last inquiring look at Jack. “The position you achieved when I was coming in here…Jack, you _do_ know that was outlawed in two galaxies?”

The mischievous grin was all the response he needed, and the Doctor didn’t need to be able to read time lines to know what was coming. " _Really_? Last I heard it was only one and a half...care to join me?” Teasingly, he added, “Unless you’re too old to bend that way. Time Lords aren’t so flexible in their old age?"

The cheek of it! He grinned widely, taking that as a challenge—simultaneously feeling the TARDIS’ thrill of happiness in his mind, at his change of mind. “ _Fantastic_ , Mister Subtle. Goading me again, Captain? Too _old_ , am I?”

When Jack grinned wickedly, he looked at him with a hint of amusement as he calmly removed his jacket. “ _No_ —not the fuzzy handcuffs!” He pointed to the corner, and Jack’s grin widened.

As Rose raised her hand to knock hours later, she paused as she heard strange sounds. She grinned, quickly leaving before she could be heard giggling, after hearing the Doctor’s muffled voice saying, “ _This_ position is outlawed in _three_ galaxies, and is slightly out of phase with at least one dimension! Beat that!”

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks to SeanDC for beta reading.


End file.
